Breathe Through
by Hikaru a
Summary: Zutara. Their first child was not a blessed event...


Breathe Through  
By Hikaru

* * *

"My Lord, you are not allowed to enter!" A servant threw herself in the way of the Fire Lord's path.

Zuko's nostrils flared. Years of practicing keeping his anger in check vanished at that one sentence. "How _dare_ you," he seethed, glaring. "She is my wife. I have a right to see her."

"She is to not be disturbed until the healer arrives." The poor girl held her ground. It wasn't that she didn't agree wholeheartedly with the Fire Lord, but if he entering the room brought the Fire Lady's life into question, she would keep them separate for as long as she could. It had taken many years, but Fire Lady Katara had become just as welcomed and a part of their nation as the Fire Lord. Therefore, protecting the Fire Lady's life overruled any threats the Fire Lord threw at the poor servant girl.

Narrowing his eyes, Zuko took a step forward. "Have you forgotten who I am?"

The girl shook her head. "No sir."

"Well then might I ask why it is _you_ who is giving _me_ the orders. _Now, open that door._"

From behind Zuko the doors opened. It was Iroh, with a worried expression on his face. Quickly he surveyed the situation, noting that it looked like his nephew was about to burn the entire palace to the ground. "What is going on here?" he demanded.

Turning to his uncle, Zuko's expression softened a little bit. "Uncle, they won't let me see her!" Zuko was struck by the irony. Even as Fire Lord, he retreated to silently asking his uncle for help.

"General Iroh," the servant bowed. "The royal doctor gave me specific orders to not let anyone enter the room until the messengers return with Yagoda of the Northern Water Tribe. The Fire Lady is very weak, and any sort of excitement may make her situation worse."

"All the more reason to let me in to see my wife!" Zuko argued. "It could be days before the healer arrives. Who knows what will happen-" but he looked to the floor before he could finish that thought aloud.

But Iroh shook his head no. "If they say you cannot enter, nephew, then you cannot enter. It is better to not take any chances in this sort of situation."

"But uncle, _she could die_! I want to see her before-"

"I understand how you feel, but-"

"How could you? She's not _your_ wife." Zuko snapped before he realized what he was saying.

Iroh narrowed his eyes. "Listen here, Zuko. Do not think that you would be the first man who would have lost his wife because of child birth." Zuko's hard expression changed to that of a guilty one. His uncle _did_ know what he was talking about. Although he wasn't alive when it happened, Zuko had always heard whispers that the birth of his cousin Lu Ten was what killed Iroh's wife. Zuko never directly asked his uncle if this was true, but now it was confirmed. "The messengers will be here very soon, I assure you. But until then, you need to keep your head on straight. It will not do for the Fire Nation's leader to be in a panic at this time. Do you understand?"

Zuko nodded. "Yes, uncle." He took a deep breath, trying to regain some composure. "My apologies."

"There is nothing to apologize for, nephew. I know this is difficult for you. But for now all we can do is wait."

* * *

The court was stunned into silence. Katara looked nervously over at her husband nodded towards the members of court.

Silence was not a good thing.

This was the same deafening silence that they had to answer to when the Fire Lord had announced he was going to take Katara of the Southern Water tribe as his wife. It had taken a year for the court to warm up to the new Fire Lady, and even longer before they trusted the judgment of their Fire Lord again. It was only when General Iroh had stepped in and made it clear that not only was this marriage good for the their Fire Lord, but it would also benefit the Fire Kingdom. Which it had. Trade had never been higher, and the country never richer.

Only then did talks of an heir come up.

The Fire Lord and Lady spent years trying to have children. Rumors began to spread that the new Fire Lady was barren, and would be tossed aside for a much younger, fertile, _Fire Nation_ girl. After all, she was far too old to bear any children. It was not unusual for the Fire Lord to take someone half his age in marriage. The Lady Katara was only two years his junior, so several of the most crucial years of birthing had already passed. Then there was the rumor that the Fire Lord and Lady would never have a child, because their elements would cancel out each other, and what new life could be born of that? Zuko reassured Katara that these were just rumors created by jealous women within the higher levels of society. Ones who would leap at being the mothering his children, Katara bitterly countered.

Three years had passed since the Lady Katara had become their Fire Lady. And then one day, during her daily water bending practice, she did not have the same strong control over the water. Oh she could bend it, yes- but not to the great lengths that she once had. When the doctors of the palace examined her, they had happily proclaimed that Lady Katara was finally with child. Zuko remembered the smile on her face as she told him, barely being able to keep the news to herself. They had kissed and cuddled the entire night, unable to fathom what further troubles that could have become of their union.

"Why this silence?" Zuko demanded of his court. "Your Fire Lord has just announced that the Lady Katara is with child. Where are her congratulations?"

Ambassador Wu stood up, looking quite frightened of the flames of the Fire Lord's throne burning higher than before. "It is not that we are not happy for you or the Lady Katara, my Lord. It is just that this is well... unexpected."

"_Unexpected_?" Katara retorted. "This court has been demanding an heir for the last three years. How is this unexpected?"

Ambassador Wu bowed deeply. "With all due respect, my Lady. We did not think it possible for you to carry the Fire Lord's child. While we were asking for an heir, yes, we were inferring that he have a harem created, like his father."

"_What_?" Zuko said through clenched teeth.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Katara asked.

Zuko turned to his wife, his eyebrows furrowed. "It means that they wanted the heir to be pure Fire Nation."

"I suppose I can understand where Ambassador Wu is coming from," Iroh chimed in before the Fire Lord killed Ambassador Wu were he stood. "After all, Lord Zuko, you and the Lady Katara are extremely strong benders of opposing elements."

"Uncle!"

"But," Iroh said, pointedly. "There has never been anything on record about such a life being brought to this world. While I think it is a miracle, there are those who would think otherwise," he eyed the other men of court. "However, because this miracle has taken place, I believe there can be no other way but seeing this as a sign of things to come."

* * *

Two days later Yagoda had arrived with the Fire Lord's messengers. The old woman's face still had the same features as Iroh had remembered all those years ago when he had spent time in the Northern Water Tribe. They exchanged smiles as she got off the boat, looking haggard from the exhausting journey.

"Why hello there, Dragon of the West." She giggled like a small school girl. If only her students could see her now. "I never thought we'd be meeting again."

Iroh bowed low. "It is a pleasure, Yagoda. However, we do not have time for catching up, I'm afraid. My niece-in-law's life is in grave peril right now."

The two elders walked as fast as they could to the carriages waiting for them by the docks. "Yes, that's what the messengers said," Yagoda replied as she sat down in the carriage. Iroh sat across from her. "Poor Paku was beside himself about his best student being so ill." She looked nervously to her side. "He said some... very horrible things about your nephew and their child."

Iroh shook his head. "I'm sure it's nothing we haven't heard here in the past six months. My poor niece-in-law was taking the brunt of it, I'm afraid. Meanwhile, my nephew... well, those who have dared to insult their child to his face have at least lived to regret it."

"But he _is_ the Fire Lord," Yagoda reasoned. "I mean, if he was an ordinary man-"

"Zuko takes his family seriously," Iroh said firmly. "More so nowadays than ever before."

Yagoda looked at Iroh disapprovingly. "Iroh, you know as well as I that this union never should have happened. They are of separate elements. That child could-"

Iroh held up his hand. "I am certain that the child will be fine. And I am glad that my nephew has found the happiness that he so rightfully deserves."

"Yes, but the elements-"

"Oh, come now, Yagoda. Surely you don't believe the old wives' tales. There have been people from different nations falling in love and getting married all the time."

Yagoda narrowed her eyes. "Well, forgive me, Iroh, but I _am_ an old wife. And be that as it may, there has been no case of different elemental _benders_ having a child. Especially opposite ones." She let out a long sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. "So tell me about Katara. The message said very little about her condition."

Iroh's expression turned very serious. "She's been slowly losing her ability to bend. At first it was just a little weakness, but I don't think she can bend at all now. That's why we called on you."

"It's been known to happen to female water benders when they are with child," Yagoda said, tipping her head to the side. "But I don't think I've ever heard of anyone losing their powers completely."

"She's also been in a lot of pain. I suspect she's in more pain than she's letting on. Poor Zuko has been beside himself ever since she's been bedridden last week. That was when we sent word for you. And then two days ago, our doctor examined her and asked that she have no visitors until you came."

Mouth gaping open, Yagoda replied, "That must have been awful for the Fire Lord."

"He's been on edge ever since. He won't leave the doors to her room, since he can't see her. Honestly, if you arrived any later, I would have written to the Avatar to find you and bring you as fast as he could, because I didn't know how much longer Zuko could go on like this."

The carriage came to an abrupt stop. Iroh glanced out the window and saw the gates to the palace. "We're here."

As Iroh helped the old water bender out of the carriage, she glanced at him with a sad look in her eyes. "You know, Iroh, I may not be able to do _anything_," she said quietly, making sure that only Iroh could hear her. "In fact, I don't even know what I can do to help, even if I can."

The old general nodded. "I know, I know. But we have to hope."

* * *

The only way that the Fire Lord and Lady found that they could blow off steam was that if they fought one another. Not with words, mind you, but with their elements. At first Zuko had been against it, worried that the baby might be hurt. But when Katara explained to him, while kissing the nape of his neck, she needed to vent her anger someway. It was either that, or freezing most of the royal court. Zuko opted for the sparring.

Abomination was not a new word to Katara. When she and Zuko first married, she was an abomination to the title of Fire Lady. Their marriage was an abomination to the history of the Fire Nation. The use for the word seemed to go on and on. However, she took it all in stride. Going into the relationship, she and Zuko understood how exactly both of their nations would react. That was why it was so hard for her to finally accept his hand in marriage. She could have said no and settled down in her village with someone of her same background and lead a quiet, boring, life. But she was never one for quiet. After all, if she was, she would have never accompanied Aang and the others on their journey. But it was Zuko that she wanted, despite everyone's objections- and it was Zuko she would have.

But when the word abomination was being tossed around the palace once more, she knew it was in reference to the baby that slept in her womb. When she first heard it she had been furious. How dare anyone insult a poor child who hadn't even come in the world yet. Making judgments before he took his first breath. The Fire Lady had gone on a rampage, only to be quelled by the Fire Lord. That was when they had made the agreement about sparring on a daily basis.

At first their sparring had been just as fever pitched as it had been back when they traveled with the Avatar. By the time it was over, they would be both exhausted and covered in sweat. While Zuko took extra care to not hurt his wife, the same could not be said for her. But after it was all over, Katara would smilingly heal any of the blows that she had given Zuko. But as the months went on, and the child grew, the spars became shorter and shorter. Not because they wanted to stop, but because Katara would tire so soon. Because she was slowly losing her ability to bend the water at the same level she once could, she was putting too much effort into her blows, draining herself much faster than before. Zuko finally got her to agree to instead feed the turtle ducks with him at night and talk about anything that had happened during the day. Although while they were at the pond, she would bend some water, to keep in practice what little skills she had left.

The night she couldn't bend any water was the night that she had fainted. She was bed ridden shortly after. With Zuko's responsibilities as Fire Lord, it made it hard for him to visit her for an extended amount of time during the day. At night, he slept in a chair by her side, holding her hand.

"I'm so sorry," Zuko whispered as he kissed the back of her hand.

Katara smiled at him, her eyes heavy with sleep. "It's not your fault."

"But it _is_," he said, squeezing her hand tighter. "_It is my fault_. If I wasn't the Fire Lord, there would have been no need for us to have children-"

She interrupted him by squeezing his hand. "You didn't make the decision alone, Zuko. I knew of the superstitions, just as well as you. But I wanted this." She placed his hand on her rounded abdomen. "I know you can't understand it, but the life I feel within me... our lives combined together. I can't describe how happy it makes me feel."

Zuko took his hand away from her grasp, and instead cupped her face with it. "But you're sick because of it. I don't want to lose you too."

Katara snorted. "You aren't getting rid of me that easy. I'm in this for the long haul."

A small smile formed on Zuko's lips as he kissed the Fire Lady's forehead.

* * *

The Fire Lord was pacing outside of the Fire Lady's inner chamber when Yagoda entered the room. She smiled faintly at his devotion. She could instantly tell that he hadn't slept in days. He looked defeated, exhausted, nothing like the descriptions Hakoda had given her. Instantly the Fire Lord's attention was on her. "You must be Master Yagoda."

She smiled warmly at the insecurity in his voice. Oh, the young one was scared all right, as he should have been. The only thing he needed now was reassurance. Reassurance that only she could give. "Yagoda is fine, Fire Lord Zuko," she said bowing.

Zuko returned the bow. "Thank you for coming so quickly... Yagoda. I wasn't sure how much longer this could go on."

Yagoda placed her hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "I will do what I can for her," she replied. "Why don't you come in with me? You too Iroh."

"As the lady wishes," Iroh said with a small bow. There was a large smile on his lips.

The servant opened the doors to the inner chamber of Lady Katara's room. There she lay, sweating profusely. Her hair had come undone, her sheets were kicked away, and she was moaning in pain. "Zuko... Zuko..." she called.

Instantly, the Fire Lord was by his Lady's side, holding her hand close to his lips. "I'm here, Katara. I'm here."

She smiled weakly at her husband. "The baby is coming. I can feel it."

The Fire Lord looked up helplessly at Yagoda, urging her silently to do something. The old woman didn't miss a beat. She was already hovering over the Fire Lady, water streaming out of the flask that rested on her hip. "This water is from the Spirit Oasis, Lord Zuko. It will help me heal her faster and more effectively." Zuko nodded.

Hovering her hands above the body of the Fire Lady, Yagoda could instantly tell that Katara's instincts were correct. She was going into labor. It would explain the pain that the Fire Lady had been experiencing the last few days. She urged the water to lessen Katara's agony. Slowly, the pained expression on the young girl's face faded. "There," Yagoda said, relived. She wiped her brow. "That should help you for at least a little while." She turned to the two men in the room. "But what the Fire Lady said is true-- the baby _is_ coming. You'll need to send for some more water and fresh linens."

Iroh nodded. But as he moved to call a servant, Katara let out a terrible scream of pain. Before they could blink, the bed sheets were covered in blood. Frantic, Zuko shouted, "Do something!" Katara was still screaming, arching her back each time she did so.

Yagoda looked to Iroh and said, "Get him out of here, now!"

"No, I won't leave!" The Fire Lord demanded. He fought vainly against his uncle as the old man dragged him out of the room. When the doors were shut, Zuko fell to his knees. "I can't lose her uncle. I can't."

Iroh patted his nephew on the back. He turned to the servant girl, who looked like she wasn't sure what she should be more worried about-- the screaming coming from the Fire Lady's room or the fact that her Fire Lord was on his knees, looking as if e was about to cry. "The Fire Lady has gone into labor. I need you to call the royal doctor and fetch some water and fresh linens." The servant girl squeaked when she realized he was talking to her. "Can you do that?" Iroh asked. The girl nodded nervously and took off for the hallway.

Zuko was in a daze for the hours after that. Feeling numb, he watched as people quickly entered and exited his wife's room, as bloody sheets were taken out, and fresh ones were taken in. All the while, Katara was screaming within. And he couldn't do anything about it. With all of his powers as Fire Lord, he couldn't do _a damn thing_. He was aware that he uncle was seated beside him. Every once in a while he would give his nephew a supportive pat on the back, but they both knew it did nothing.

Finally, there was a second cry from within the room. A baby cry. Zuko's head perked up at this sound, and Iroh smiled at him proudly. "Congratulations," he said as he brought the Fire Lord in for a hug.

The doors to the Fire Lady's inner chamber burst open. A servant girl was carrying the baby. "Congratulations, My Lord. You have a son."

But Zuko wasn't interested in the baby. From behind the servant he could see all the blood, and Katara still moaning in pain. "Katara..." He stood up and began to walk over to the room, but the servant girl stopped him. "You can't go in there yet."

"Like hell I can't," Zuko retorted. "I want to be with her."

"My Lord, what about your son?" The servant asked, offering the baby to his father.

"I don't care about him, I want to see Katara!" he snapped.

Scared, the servant girl looked over to Iroh, unsure of what to do. Iroh was not pleased with his nephew's outburst at all. "Zuko," he boomed. The Fire Lord whirled around to face his uncle, angry that he had addressed him in such a manner. But when he saw the expression on his uncle's face, Zuko took a step back. "Take your son," the Dragon of the West ordered.

"Why should I take him when he's the reason my wife is _dying_ in there?"

"_Zuko. Take him._"

Zuko shallowly nodded, taking the baby from the servant's hands.

Iroh stood up and walked over to his nephew. "No matter what happens to Katara, you need to take care of your _son_. He is the life that you and she created together. He is the future of this nation. _Do not let your emotions overrule you_."

Zuko closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes, he looked down at his son. The boy was sleeping in his father's arms, his fingers curled around the red linens they had wrapped him in. The top of his head was covered in a dark brown fluff of hair. A pang of guilt hit Zuko in the chest. How could he have said such terrible things about the little life he held in his hands? He brought the baby closer to his chest and smiled slightly. "I'm sorry," he whispered over and over again to the sleeping child.

Letting out a relieved breath, Iroh looked over his nephew's shoulder. "The boy will need a name, you realize."

"Wen Tian."

Iroh smiled. "Very strong name. I like it."

The doors to the inner chamber opened once again. This time it was Yagoda who exited the room. Zuko felt a large lump form in his throat. Her clothes had blood all over them. She looked tired and worn.

But she was smiling.

"The Fire Lady is waiting to meet her son, Fire Lord Zuko."

_Fin_

* * *

Notes:  
Sorry this piece was so dramatic. It's just that this fic hit me like a lightning bolt this morning, and I've spent the last twelve hours. For those wondering, Wen Tian's name literally means _stable sky_.

The next one I promise will be about Katara and Zuko actually being lovey-dovey instead of one of them talking about how their feelings are so horrible and they shouldn't do this, blah blah.

Disclaimer:  
This fiction was written for entertainment purposes only. Characters of Avatar: TLA belong to Michael Dante DiMartino, Bryan Konietzko and Nick. Standard disclaimers apply.


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